My sisters and I have continued our book on our journey to self-improvement.
C. 8: I am enough- Children have one job: seek/receive approval/love from their parents
- when not given, traumatic/disorienting - children are unable to rationalize
- fundamental/deeply held
This is often something that lingers with us subconsciously. It is easy to say, I raised myself, or my parents didn't want me. It is much harder to live that reality.
- impossible for a child to understand their parents are flawed
- they are loveable even if their parent does not love them
- internalize the belief: they must not be loveable/enough
Children are born with the instincts to bond - this is a survival instinct (safety in numbers) deeply ingrained in the primal mind. It is hardwired into a person's brain and therefore when this instinct is not fulfilled the mind must find a way to make the reality fit into their world view. This often makes them believe they must be the one with the flaw, especially if they are unable to identify/verify this reality with their social peers
- to children, a parent is the one person who is supposed to love them no matter what
Children internalize and learn from what they see, hear, and are taught. If you reject a person enough, their brain/body will protect them from further harm. It may save them physically but will damage them emotionally.
- "can't get enough" of a substance/habit doesn't feel like they are enough
- self-medicating
If I can just reach/get ______, I will be happy/successful/etc
- once people achieve success but still don't feel like enough
- there is nothing left to achieve
- give up any sense that they will ever feel enough
Well, I've completed all my plans/dreams/etc, where do I go from here? What is there left to accomplish?
- the universe wanted you
- every single person on the planet, by virtue of their existence, is enough and worthy of love
You are wanted and loved, just by being born.
- tell yourself "you are enough" regularly
- you will know with unshakable conviction that you deserve it and are worthy
The mind responds to words, right/wrong/true/false. If you tell yourself you are enough, you will believe that you are enough.
