My sisters and I have continued our book on our journey to self-improvement.
C. 6: Marshmallow Experiment
- good things don't happen over night
Change takes time.
- the cool system (angel) vs hot system (devil)
The angel/devil on your shoulders
- quality of life has suffered enormously due to the blurred lines between work, rest, & play
I agree, not having boundaries means that there is not way to tell the difference between work/rest/play. My work calls me at 2AM. I answer because I am salaried, I'm never off the clock. How do I decompress after work, I still have to do "mom work". There is no rest. If I'm not at work, I'm working at home. Day off, what is a day off?
- The people who enjoy life the most have learned how to both delay gratification and savor the rewards, big and small, when they come.
- their failure to reap the rewards once they've done the work
- it's vital to reward yourself on the way to becoming successful
We are so busy trying to completed task/to-do lists that we don't appreciate/congratulate ourselves when we have completed a task. It is just on to the next item on our lists. This means that we aren't giving ourselves praise or appreciating how much work it took to get the job completed.
- 5 hour rule - for an hour a day invest in compound time
- you are not "wasting time"
- step away from your 'to-do' list and invest in your future
Resting is not a waste of time. It is easy to get lost in the list of things we have to do today. If we don't complete it, will it still be there tomorrow? Conversely, if you don't rest/give your body a break, will you be here tomorrow?
- "The Healing Vortex"
C. 7: The struggle (with food) is real
- inherited shame
- "sneak" snacks/food you love to eat them, to be "good"
- finish what was on your plate, even if you weren't hungry to avoid wasting food
- our relationship with food is deeply embedded
Often we are taught as children that not finishing what is on our plates is wasteful and not ok. "Children are starving all over the world and you don't appreciate how good you have it."
"I worked hard to provide that food on the table and you will eat every bite."
"We do not waste food in this house, it cost too much."
- "chocolate has been in my life... It's always going to be available."
- "no one is stopping me or shaming me for eating ____, but today I'm choosing something healthier"
- "_______ will always be there. But today I don't need them."
- you can choose to wait until you can eat healthier food
I'm an adult and can have whatever food I want. If you want to eat it, you can. There is no shame/blame/guilt for eating desert first or having a treat. But just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Remember that what you put into your body is fuel and while a treat is nice sometimes, you need healthier food to fuel your activities.
- Food hacks
- Reduce your exposure to tempting stimuli
- don't have treats or temptations in your house
- avoid all-you-can-eat buffets/bottomless bread basket
- avoid too much variety
- stop using food as a reward (see it as such)
- buy a treat
- go for a walk
- prepare a nice fruit salad/latte
- improve the quality of foods
- Does it roam?
- Can you recognize it?
- Can you eat it raw?
- Does it rot?
- Can you recreate it at home?
- eat like a caveman
- fresh meat/fish
- vegetable/fruits
- nuts/seeds
- eggs
- if struggling with your weight, be kind to yourself
Remember that change is slow and words can hurt. Work on what you can and make small changes to help you stay on track. If you slip up, remember, we are working towards progress, not perfection. Try to eat a little better each day and soon you will find that you are not interested in sugary snacks/cookies/etc as much. Also your definition of snack/treat may change.
- Rules of your mind
- act in a way that consistently matches our thinking
- emotion always wins
- mind is hardwired to resist what is unfamiliar and to return to what is familiar
- your mind acts on your words regardless of truth/falsehood/healthy/unhealthy/right/wrong
- your mind does not recognize neutral words like don't, can't, no, not, later, maybe, tomorrow
